


Vampires Do Not Sparkle!

by rainbowflavored_fiction



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Silas, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, F/F, Halloween Costumes, Starring the adorable tiny creampuff that is Laura Hollis, and the broody Grinch who hates Halloween, vampire!Carmilla
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-16
Updated: 2017-10-16
Packaged: 2019-01-18 08:16:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12384375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainbowflavored_fiction/pseuds/rainbowflavored_fiction
Summary: When Laura started looking for a roommate online, she wasn't expecting to come across a vampire. A vampire who is a total Grinch the days leading up to Halloween. Weren't vampires supposed to love things all dark and spooky? Determined to prove Carmilla wrong, Laura does everything she can to turn that frown upside down. She just didn't expect it to go in her favor.





	Vampires Do Not Sparkle!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [spaceboi_gabe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/spaceboi_gabe/gifts).



> Hello guys, gals, and everyone in between! No SFoS update, sorry my loves. Chapter nineteen will be up next week, I promise! I just wanted to write this little number over the weekend for my good friend Gabriel (spaceboibunny). Fun fact about this dude: they're so lovely. That is all. Ask them how their day went or rant to them about Carmilla and they'll listen. Their artwork is so amazingly good I couldn't stop the plot bunnies from forming in my brain after seeing their most recent post. (the one where Carmilla and Laura swap clothes, inspired by the Style Swap video KindaTV uploaded). So I suppose you could say this fanfiction had a lot of inspirations. Plus Halloween is upon us (GET READY FOR THE SKELETON WAR!!!!!!!!!!) and I wanted to write Hollstein in that kind of setting. 
> 
> I've always imagined Carm to be such a grumpy butt during the holiday, so it was fun writing her out in this way. And I've missed vampire!Carmilla a little more than I thought. Phew, I forgot how sultry she can get. *fans self* And yay, so apparently it is possible for me to write a one-shot that doesn't involve angst. Enjoy this while it lasts. 
> 
> I love you all! Make good choices!

 

* * *

 

**For Gabriel, my little prince.**

 

* * *

 

       Laura watched her roommate as she jumped backwards, oddly startled by the shrieking sound the plastic ghost made on the wall. She giggled quietly to herself, saying nothing, gently taking Carmilla's hand and squeezing it.

 

      The vampire roughly pulled it away with an exasperated huff. "This is ridiculous." She mumbled.

       It's been three months since Laura sent out an application online, hoping to find a roommate to help pay rent (and her cookie fund). She was looking for a new friend, someone whom she could go out for coffee with or rant about the new season of Wynonna Earp. Or at least someone who had similar interests with her, since all the friends she had were a bunch of odd balls that didn't fit into the mold society gave them (not that she was claiming she did, but still).

She was an intern working at  _The Corvae_ , a journalism company on her campus. It would prepare her for any future journalism company she aspired to go into, even though the pay wasn't enough.

     She just wasn't expecting a… vampire. Sure, supernatural creatures existed all about the world (some integrated with society, others didn't) she just wasn't expecting to get up close and personal with one. The first week, Laura was certain she picked the worst one in the bunch.

     It wasn't that Carmilla was scary or frightened her, oh no. If anything, the vampire had more cat-like tendencies than her fellow kin. Some days Carmilla would get so comfortable around the house she would unknowingly slip into her half form, (where her adorable panther ears would pop out and so would her tail) and just lounge on the sofa. She was just… so  _messy_. Carmilla never used the choir wheel. She never cleaned anything. She would clog up the shower with her hair. She had the worst manners at the dinner table (she had a habit of kicking up her legs and putting them in front of her food, which Laura reprimanded her and shrieked at her for). The worst part about it was, if they went out for a night of fun, Carmilla would always bring home her 'conquests' from the night and be… loud. An unsettling feeling always pooled in Laura's stomach whenever she heard her roommate having sex in the next room. It's not like she  _purposefully_  listened. The walls were paper thin in their apartment!

      Though, weirdly, Carmilla stopped bringing her dates home about two weeks ago. Hasn't slept with anyone since. Laura wanted to ask why, but she was nervous about it. The vampire didn't exactly like sharing her feelings with anyone.

       Despite Carmilla's lack of understanding on hygiene, Carmilla was frighteningly smart. She enjoyed going on rants about philosophy, astrology, and loved learning new languages. Carmilla was multilingual, fluent in German, French, and English. (Laura would never admit it, but when Carmilla cursed in French or uttered something it was such a turn on). There was more to the vampire than her broody, gothic exterior, and Laura was grateful. She was determined to break down those walls, and knew it was going to be hard. But, Laura Eileen Hollis never gave up. She didn't understand the word "no". Carmilla was going to be her friend whether she liked it or not.

      … _or maybe something a little more than that_ , Laura thought with a blush. Who knows.  _Do vampires even go on dates?_  Laura turned her attention to Carmilla, who accidentally caused a pile of plastic pumpkins to fall onto the ground.  _Stupid, clumsy vampire._

"Cupcake, are we done yet?" The lazy vampire bemoaned, slinging an arm around her. She buried her face into Laura's shoulder. "I'm hungry. And tired."

      "I'm sorry, last time I checked I wasn't going Halloween shopping with a  _toddler_ ," Laura rolled her eyes. "We're almost done. I just need to find a smoke machine for LaFontaine." Her best friend was hosting a Halloween party this year and they were super excited about it. They were the type of nerd that celebrated the holiday every day in October, and it drove their neurotic girlfriend Perry, who's quite frankly sick of Halloween, insane.

      Those two were the only ones accepting of Carmilla when everyone first met (though Laura had to take the needles and syringes away from Lafontaine because they were so ready to experiment on the vampire).

        Carmilla huffed and slouched, opposite to how a normal, sophisticated vampire would act. The woman was three hundred and thirty-four years old, but whenever they had to do ANY kind of shopping, she would turn into a child. Laura had to admit, it was more adorable than frustrating. She always tried to convince Laura that the tiny cupcake never needed to pay for anything, because of her mysterious, seemingly Harry Potter-like inheritance. Laura was afraid to ask where she got the money from.

Laura drew out a breath. Why was trying to be friends with a vampire so complicated?

           "What the frilly hell?!" Carmilla sputters, stumbling into Laura again.

     "Carm, relax!" She shouts, catching her. A large, demented looking skeleton hung over them, with long boney fingers and a ripped cloak. She noticed that the vampire was starting to shake, as Laura gently grasped her shoulders. "Hey. Everything's okay. It's not going to hurt you."

       "This is f-fucking s-stupid," she huffs, and shoves her shoulder away. Carmilla glares at Laura, "Find your dumbass smoke machine and I'll meet you outside." She grunts, stalking towards the exit. Laura let out a sigh, feeling hurt. What got the silly vampire so flustered? She wished there was something she could do to help.

       The car ride to their crappy apartment was awkward, as Carmilla folded her arms and looked at the ground. An interesting thing about the vampire was that her eyes changed color along with her emotions. If she was well feed after a hunt, her eyes would be golden. If she was angry, they would be red. If she was sad, or feeling lost, they would turn silver. Her natural color is a gorgeous, earthy brown.

Underneath those bangs, they were silver.

       Carmilla suffered from depression—it was easy for Laura to tell, as sometimes for hours the vampire would just lock herself in her room. It wasn't the type of sadness that could easily be cured, Laura knew this well. She just wished Carmilla was more open with her feelings so she could know how to help her. There was this stigma with vampires how they were meant to be these evil creatures, void of any emotion or goodness.

That wasn't Carmilla. Laura knew she had goodness in her heart. Carmilla probably had centuries worth of pain and suffering and she just struggled to find happiness.

           Laura sighed as Carmilla poofed her way into the house, no doubt heading straight for her bedroom. Didn't bother to say a goodbye. Or a thank you. She just left.

   Laura shook her head and started to unpack the decorations, sending a quick text to LaFontaine, letting them know she found the smoke machine. They sent back an excited message in all caps and a dozen or so emojis. Laura giggles. They were such a goof.

As Laura finished unpacking and changed into a comfortable flannel, she hesitantly knocked on Carmilla's room. "Carm?" There was a muffled groan. "May I come in?"

        "…whatever." She grumbled in reply, and Laura opened the door.

   "Hey," Laura soothes, frowning at Carmilla's slumped figure. "I… brought you some hot coco." Carmilla sniffs, and Laura's heart ached at how red and puffy her eyes were. "Look, I… can't help you if you don't talk to me. I know we… didn't get off on the right foot today, but I'm your friend. And friend's care when one's callous attitude hurts the other." Carmilla wipes her eyes, accepting the caffeinated drink, "Talk to me."

"Why aren't you afraid of me?" Carmilla asks, not looking up at her. "I'm… a monster, Laura."

       "Oh, Carm," Laura says, boldly cuddling next to her. "Is that how you see yourself? You're not a monster, sweetheart. You're the clumsiest vampire I know."

"I've killed people, Laura."

      "Yeah. That kind of comes with the territory."

"I watched as their souls drained from their body. I sucked their blood. I have innocent blood on these hands. Doesn't that bother you?"

        "You're not that person anymore, Carm. You've changed. You're free from… whoever was making you do those things. You don't feed on people anymore. You respectfully feed on animals. We keep reserved blood bags in the fridge for you so you don't run out," Laura takes a piece of hair out of Carmilla's face, "You're not a monster."

         A tear slides down Carmilla's cheek, "Sometimes I'm terrified one day I'll snap and everything I've tried to push away comes rushing back. My worst fear is waking up one morning and seeing your bloodied corpse on the floor."

      Laura shivers. That wasn't a good image to have. She trusted Carm, probably more than what Perry or her friend Danny would feel comfortable with. "If you wanted to hurt me you would have done so by now." She says gently, leaning her head on Carmilla's shoulder, "I'm not afraid of you."

       "You would be the first who's said that to me," Carmilla rumbles shyly, a rare blush forming on her cheeks. "I'm… going to tell you a story, Laura. And… when I'm finished, if you want me to leave, I'll leave. You'll never see me again after today. But if you want me to stay… I swear I'll protect you with my life. A vampire never goes back on their word," She admits, and Laura nods.

      "I was born Mircalla. Daughter of the count Karnstein in Styria, in 1680. Austria at the time was in a great war against the Ottoman Empire but such things meant little to a wealthy girl. I was eighteen when I attended a ball where I was murdered… on All Hollow's Eve. Three centuries ago," Carmilla shakily breathed out, and Laura gently placed a comforting hand on her knee.

"No wonder why you're so cranky and broody." Laura sighs, "I'm sorry, Carm."

        "Among other things," She smiled weakly, and began again, "My mother raised me. Not my birth mother, but the one I knew after death. She gave me promises of riches and a future, but she was bitter and cold. I knew nothing of her except she was very old and very wise, and pried apart the claws of death to enact my rescue. The wide world opened before me in death as it had never done in life. We saw the birth of a new world in science and philosophy. Every night was a grand ball. A hunt. A feast," Laura found herself entranced by every word, and leaned in. "But not everything was what it seemed. Mother had a plan. She wanted to rule more than just the tiny clan we had. She wanted more than just to kidnap girls and suck away their life until they were nothing more than just a corpse. I was bound to her, forced to obey her every whim. That is… until I met her. The lovely Ell. My greatest love, and… my greatest sorrow," She sighs, and in that moment, Laura saw how old Carmilla is. She reached out for Carmilla's hand, who grasped it.

        "I wanted to rescue her from my mother's clutches. I wanted to flee with her across the moors. But my Mother revealed my true nature to her in the most horrible light, and she screamed. Called me a monster. And fled. I was so angry by my Mother's betrayal that I turned into a beast. My panther took control of me, and I when I woke up I saw my Mother's disembodied limbs thrown across the dungeon floor. I had murdered her. The only person who cared for me in some sense. I was so ashamed by what I did I locked myself in a coffin of blood. Until I reasoned with myself I suffered enough with my crimes, I escaped from it to greet the twenty first century." She let out a deep sigh, "I am feared by all. Humans run away because it is an instinct to be afraid of the dark. Supernatural creatures stay away from me because they heard the tall tales of what I was once capable of. That I destroyed the most powerful vampire to have ever lived. That's why I… wanted to come here. I belong nowhere."

"You belong here," Laura sniffed, a gentle smile on her face. "With me."

        "There are worst places to be." Carmilla smiles, and Laura swats her shoulder. She chuckles, and, places a grateful kiss on Laura's forehead. "Thank you for accepting me."

"You're welcome, Carm. Thank you for trusting me."

           Carmilla hummed, her eyelids drooping.

     "Time for the ancient, scary vampire to have a nap," Laura giggles, taking the cup of hot coco from her and placing it on her night stand. Carmilla grumbled begrudgingly, not wanting to admit that she was tired, until Laura lay beside her. "I'll hold you until you sleep."

"Merci beaucoup,  _cheri_ ," She mumbles tiredly. Laura blushed.

           She knew 'merci beaucoup' meant thank you in French. What did  _cheri_  mean? Her heart pounding, she made a mental note to look it up later.

 

* * *

 

    As the week went on, Laura noticed that there was a change in the broody vampire. Her touches became gentler, and hugging was a new thing between them. Cuddles, too; Laura would just catch Carmilla staring at nothing on the couch, lost in her mind, and when she would embrace her, Carmilla would snap out of it. Laura understood now why Carmilla disliked Halloween. She just didn't understand why anyone would celebrate the dead. Or why there is candy involved. Or why little children dressed up as witches, vampires, or demons.

      It insulted her because she feared it all. Halloween reminded her of her death. Laura didn't push her to enjoy it. But she was grateful now that the sarcastic comments and the irritated ramblings stopped.

      It was the night before Halloween and Laura was working on making a frozen dinner for herself. Carmilla was out hunting, going a respectful distance away from the cul-de-sac to look for deer. Laura was fascinated by how Carmilla knew exactly which blood tasted good and which ones didn't. Or that she could still eat human foods, but is not satisfied by the taste.

She's also a fantastic cook.

      "Hey, cupcake," Carmilla utters shyly, appearing behind her.

"Hey! Enjoy your hunt?" She smiles, patting Carmilla's stomach. She then notices the vampire forgot to clean a trickle of blood on her lip. "Obviously you did." She smirks, and reaching out to get a napkin, cleaned Carmilla's lip.

        Her roommate blushed and buried her face into Laura's shoulder. She always got flustered or embarrassed when Laura showed her affection, it was adorable.

"I'm a messy eater, I'm sorry." She mumbles.

       "No worries. I get the same way with cookies," Laura shrugs, smiling as she noticed Carmilla's hands slowly inching around her waist. She giggled and, boldly, brought them fully around her so she could properly lean into Carmilla. They both sighed and held each other for a long moment.

"What do you want to do tonight?" She asks, and the microwave dings. She takes out her macaroni and shoves a healthy portion in her mouth. "I was thinking we'd put on a movie."

         "Alright. What do you have in mind?"

"I think you're going to like  _The Nightmare Before Christmas_." Laura giggles, "It'll help get you into the spirit of the holiday."

          "It's not like I need another reminder, creampuff," Carmilla sighs, shaking her head, "You're lucky you're cute."

Laura squealed and placed a happy, excited kiss on Carmilla's cheek. The vampire scoffed and folded her arms, an excited buzz fluttering about in her heart. She was growing fond of the tiny human, there was no doubt about that.

        Laura had seen the movie a dozen or so times, but she loved re-watching every second of it. She focused her attention on Carmilla, who seemed reluctant to enjoy the film at first. Laura noticed whenever Sally, Jack's love, appeared on the screen, Carmilla smiled. She knew the vampire would be able to relate to her. She feels Carmilla tighten her hold when the mayor and Jack dismiss the girl, treating her poorly. A cold look appears on her face, and Laura leans her head on Carmilla's shoulder.

        A warm feeling buzzes in Laura's heart as Carmilla laughs at all the right moments, and gasps at the somber ones. When Laura was a child and she watched this movie with her father, she remembers feeling so scared during the scene where the Boogeyman tries to kill Jack, she couldn't watch it for a whole year. Now she marvels at the animation of it, and cautiously watches from the corner of her eye to see how Carmilla reacts.

      She isn't. Carmilla has her head hidden in a pillow, and she's silently crying.

Laura pauses the movie.

          "…Carm…" Laura eases gently, nudging her.

"I-I'm not sure who I hate more, Jack or the fucking Boogeyman. What assholes." She grumbles, and Laura giggles.

         "I can agree with you on the Boogeyman, the guy is a creep. But why do you hate Jack?"

"B-because he didn't understand what Christmas was, and thought he could do someone else's job! On top of that, he was so focused on his stupid plan he didn't even notice Sally or her feelings for him. What a dickhead."

       "You silly vampire," Laura says fondly, "Jack did realize he loved her by the end of the movie."

"It's unrealistic and an overused plot trope."

        "Carm, it's a  _children's_  movie."

"I would have noticed her," Carmilla mutters softly. "I love Sally."

        "I know, baby." Laura smiles, caressing her cheek. Carmilla didn't shy away from her touch this time. She then grinned as a thought came to her, "Do you want to come to the party tomorrow night LaF's throwing? You don't have to dress up in costume."

"I'm already the best one," Carmilla says, and winks at her. Laura giggles. "Alright. I'll go. But if the Brainiac starts to experiment on me I'm leaving."

       "Yay! Thank you!" Laura threw her arms around her. "I feel so safe with you." She admits shyly, and Carmilla hums appreciatively.

"I am glad." She replies, and holds her tight as she poofs them to Laura's bedroom, putting her to bed.

 

* * *

 

       Carmilla yawns and stretches her limbs, feeling refreshed after taking a nap. She blinks once, delirious for a second until she remembered that she hadn't left the apartment all day. She doesn't have a nine to five job, just does freelance work and sells her art online. Painting helps calm her (and even though there's a multitude of talents she's good at, art pays the bills). Her latest project wasn't due until the middle of November so she had time to work on it.

She was about to get herself a blood bag from the fridge when there was an excited knock on the door, and the doorbell ringing several times.

        "Carm, sweetie! Can you get that!" Laura exclaimed; there was upbeat music playing from her bedroom and she must be getting ready for the party. Carmilla groans. She wanted to continue cuddling with Laura—not talk to strangers.

She tiredly opened the door.

          "TRICK OR TREAT!" Exclaimed the little tyke, eyes wide with joy and a bright smile on his face. He was dressed up as a superhero, Laura would know which one.

"No." Carmilla grumbles, and slammed the door in his face.

          "CARAMILLA VON KARNSTEIN," Laura screeched, running towards her, "DID YOU JUST DENY CANDY TO A CHILD."

    "Huh?" The vampire blurts, suddenly distracted by the outfit Laura was wearing. She wore a tight-fitting pair of leather pants, dark make-up, and a corset that showed her cleavage. Heat pooled in Carmilla's stomach as she realized Laura would be walking out in that— _wait are those MY leather pants—_ and she bit the inside of her cheek.

        "Carmilla. Babe, we've talked about this," Laura says, breathing in deeply, "When a child shows up in costume and says 'trick or treat' we give them candy. CANDY. There's a candy bowl right in front of you!"

 _I'm having a hard time focusing on what she's saying._ Carmilla thoughts shamelessly, eyes trailing to her breasts.

"Carmilla! Eyes up here," Laura smirks, snapping her finger. The vampire grunts. "Please, open the door and hand the children their candy like we rehearsed."

       Here she was, a centuries old vampire, that used to kill and hunt people for fun, now losing her dignity because she's going to give candy to a child. On the night she was murdered. And people dress up on this night because it's apparently  _fun to celebrate death_?

How's that for irony.

         When she opened the door again, her heart clenched as she saw the little boy with his eyes watering, and his cheeks puffy.

"…why do you have your cheeks puffed out like that?" She wearily asked.

            "I'm not breathing until you give me candy!" The little boy exclaimed.

"Great Diana," Carmilla murmurs. "Alright, here. Here's some candy—please, I don't want to deal with a passed-out munchkin on my doorstep."

          "Yah!" He cheers, breathing out slowly as air filled his lungs, and held out his plastic bag. His eyes lit up when he saw Laura, "Ms. Laura, your girlfriend's really cranky and mean like an old lady."

"Hey! I'm not old, you brat!"

        "Broody McVampire over here is trying to understand the true meaning of Halloween. This is her first time celebrating it." Laura smiles.

The boy gasped, "You're a vampire? Whoa! So, so, is it true? Can vampires really sparkle? Do you have fangs? Can you turn into a bat?"

        Sappho pray for her. "Vampires. Do. Not. Sparkle!" She shrieked, showing her fangs to the boy.

Instead of being scared, the little boy laughs. "You're funny. Thank you for the candy, Ms. Laura!"

          "You're welcome, Miles! Say hello to your mother for me!" Laura calls out.

As Laura closes the door behind them, she notices Carmilla lean her head against the wall in defeat. "Hey. Are you okay?"

           "…that child wasn't afraid of me." She mumbles in awe. "I-I raised my voice at him and he didn't flinch away."

    "Miles is special. He has what's called autism, Carm. He can't respond to social cues very well and gets confused or anxious in these kinds of situations. That doesn't mean he's different or stranger than anyone else. It's just the way his brain works," Laura smiled and leaned her head on Carmilla's shoulder, "I used to babysit him when his mother worked two jobs and couldn't be at home. Be careful of what you say to him next time, okay?" Carmilla nods.

         "Now. Can we just address… um, what is happening there?" Carmilla wondered, cheeks blushing as she motioned her hands to Laura's… choice of outfit.

    "Oh, this? I thought it was obvious. I'm  _you_ ," she then proceeds to say in a very unlike Carmilla voice, "I'm a broody vampire that hates everyone, blah blah blah," she snickers, "That's the way the world works, cutie," Laura opens up her mouth and lets her tongue fall out in a ridiculous matter, "Fear me! I am a creature of the night!"

"First of all, I do not go 'blah blah blah', second, you're doing a horrible impression of me and third…" Carmilla leans in close, "Give me back my clothes before I  _take_  them off  _myself_."

        The air suddenly shifts between them. Being a vampire had its perks. She could feel how desperately Laura is trying to hold herself together. She could hear the tiny cupcake's heart begin to race a mile a minute. She loved the way color rose to Laura's face and her eyes filled with want and desire. The way she bit her lip.

"Is that a threat or a promise?" Laura blurts, and Carmilla's heart thumps wildly.

           "Only if you want it to be." Her hands trail down Laura's back, cupping her ass. "Do you trust me?"

"Yes." It came out as a breathy moan, but was still an answer nonetheless. Wait. Didn't they have a party to go to? Ah, who cares.

        All that mattered was Laura.

Carmilla kissed her.

       Kissing her was like biting into a yummy, very fluffy creampuff. Soft and sweet and addicting. She had often dreamed of doing so, but none of that compared to what was really happening.

           She felt so safe with Laura. Happy. Maybe even… loved? No, no, it was too soon. They've only known each other for a few months. But she couldn't deny the way her heart raced as she stripped Laura of her shirt, and her bra and the leather pants was the only thing left. bite marks were delicately placed all over her skin.

     "Holy Hufflepuff, I should have worn these leather pants sooner if it meant you were going to pounce on me," Laura giggles, as Carmilla struggled to unbutton her pants. They had stumbled into Laura's bedroom somehow. Carmilla wasn't sure of her reality at this point. "I was sending you signals all week, baby."

"Fuck, I'm so bad. I'm so sorry."

         "You're a centuries old vampire and you can't tell if a girl is hitting on you?"

"I was distracted by my crush on you!" Carmilla says embarrassedly, shaking her head.

        "Stupid, sexy vampire," Laura says fondly. She then gasps, "Ah, fuck. We're so going to miss LaF's party. We're… going to be a while."

    "We're invited to a better one reserved for two," Carmilla snickers, and sighs with relief as she finally gets those leather pants off. She smirks as she notices Laura's panties are considerably wet. "This one is not safe for work."

        "Can you stop it with the foreplay and fuck me already?" Laura whines.

"But the foreplay is the best part, cupcake!" Carmilla laughs, and Laura smacks her.

        She pulls her in for a passionate, loving kiss.

Laura was the first person who listened to her tale of woe and didn't flinch away.

       The first one who held her, comforted her, loved her.

After centuries of searching, she had finally found her home.

          Perhaps Halloween wasn't so bad after all.

Carmilla  _loved_  Halloween.

**~fin~**

**Author's Note:**

> THE CARMILLA MOVIE IS IN TEN DAYS. THE CARMILLA MOVIE IS IN TEN DAYS. THE CARMILLA. MOVIE. IS. IN. TEN. DAYS!!!!!!!!!!! *screeches*


End file.
